DIALOGUE ON SELF ENQUIRY
Q: Many times when I try to do self-inquiry, I try to reach the ‘I’ asking myself ‘who am I?’, or stating ‘I am’.
But many times there's another question popping into the head: who's asking? I can hear/feel the voice in my head asking the questions.
Also many times, I keep asking but my mind keeps being distracted.
What would you suggest? And who is asking?
R: That shows you are still too intellectual with it. First do any samadhi meditation, any calming which you surely know.
When you have some basic stillness in body and mind you can be interested to BE in that. Sit erect but comfortably and feel your body,
relax all parts,
feel your breath and observe it softly.
A natural stillness will arise.
BE in it with interest, explore how you ARE in it.
Q: should I keep following my breath?
R: Yes, the breath, merely watching.
Understand that 'Who am I?' is very little like an ordinary question of the intellect.
You ARE already awareness. The first attention IS non-dual,
that means you cannot objectify it. All else you can see as an object, right?
Q: I understand. Sometimes while practicing I encountered a state of calm and I felt good in it.
R: Right. In that stay and relax, don't seek something else.
Rather sink into it with a non-articulated question as to
who or what you ARE there.
Right now: what is the ISNESS of this moment?
Q: You mean now?
R: Yes, right now ?
Q: I am afraid I do not understand ... I guess that I am typing?
R: Check if there is something in the NOW which just IS; is that changeful?
Q: No. I experience a state... it happened many times. That whatever you are is a presence, right? But I am afraid that many times I associate this with my body, my image.
R: No, must look again, I am not talking about the CONTENT of this
moment, neither of your mind nor of your senses. What is the
perception of being, that you ARE here, right now?
Q: Hard to describe. I cannot explain. And if I am trying, I think about it.
R: Don’t be afraid, thinking in order to describe is ok.
Q: Hmm... it is like when I read your question I feel it in the center of my chest like the breath, but I also associate it with my body.
R: Doesn't matter if it is associated; what is it in itself?
Q: It is beingness.
R: Exactly, this beingness explore!
These are two ways to access the Self.
First: explore who you ARE in stillness, as awareness –
Second: realize and explore that which does not change with the contents of each moment, in the midst of everyday life.
All mental elements that are attached to pure 'I' and confounded with this still, empty presence will for sure disappear, also the idea of a Universal Self with them. The 'I'-thought is a thought, an object that can never stand alone. As soon as it gives up all clinging, all seeking, all greed and remains still, it experiences its true nature which is not mental, not objective, not split.